Update on love and forgivness.

God is funny how he test you. See today was a birthday party for Wayne Smith. Wayne is Melissa's dad, My ex-father-in-law. It was a great party and it was nice to be able to attend and feel like I was part of the family, but something came up. You see I was a big jerk and to tell you the truth that is one reason me and Melissa is not together. I carry a burden that I need to give to God. I was told all is forgiven and I believe that in the way I am treated, the problem comes within me. Anyway about 15 years ago there was a big blow up and it caused so hurtful feelings among both families. There was one particular person who was not blood related, but was a close family friend. She proceeded to put her nose into it and I kindly back then closed the door on it. Since that instead of treating just me like a jerk ot taking it out on me, took it out on Melissa and Rose this whole time. She never would speak to any of us since that time. Remind you Rose was only 4 maybe at the time. Funny thing we all got over it and moved on she still holds that against us and we are not together. Melissa told me just tonight that this person is just now starting to say somethings to her. Funny thing also about this, I never really said much to her other than to keep her nose out of it, after all she was not family. Well tonight I saw her come in and I wonder what would happen. I did not go out of my way but I did pass her and I put my hand on her shoulder and said Hi. I asked if she was okay. Not once did she look at me and just said hello and okay.

Here is where I sinned, I instantly got mad. It was like someone slapped me. I walked away and held on to that anger. Melissa asked me and I told her. She looked at me and then told me that she had been asked if we was back together. I am sure there was more, but Missy decided not to give me the rest. I got mad and said a few choice words. All the anger and memories from that night flooded my mind. I finally had to let it go. I just let it go, and now I been asking God to forgive me of my mistake and to help me to let it go.

I got hurt because she still has not forgiven me. That was wrong for me to get hurt and me to get mad. She will have to answer for her actions; I have to answer to mine. I wish I could go back and change a lot of things, but I can't all I can do is ask for forgiveness and then let God sort it all out.

We are not responsible fot those we seek forgiveness once we do what God calls us to do then it someone Else's ball game.